i lost it

i don’t know what has gone into my head lately.. everything’s turning upside down.. i’m going hay wire

exams has not even started yet but yet i already feel so defeated.. tell me, how am i suppose to compete with other people when i already lost my own battle? i have absolutely no motivation to study at all.. except for constantly doing add math everyday, hardly touch other subjects.. eveytime i sit down, telling myself that i want to study this, that, i studied nothing, as if i’m losing control over myself..

*study sucks*

okay, maybe study won’t suck if there isn’t eleven subjects to cope with.. sometimes i just don’t get some of the subjects that we are required to take.. (you know what subjects).. no wonder people who study overseas score so much better..

one thing i hate, why do people who put in more effort still don’t score as well as people who just glance through the books one day before exam? tell me! hey, they should at least be credited for their hard work right?

the time table for this mid year exams sucks big time.. hello! sigh, fine.. not going to elaborate on this.. people in Nan Hwa, you should know..

 sorry, i’m just pissed with myself and the way things are.. don’t blame others but myself.. i used to strive, i used to have the determination to study, i used to study till the wee hours.. why am i like that now? the worse part is i’m not even feeling anything.. fact is, i don’t want to end up in tears, regretting why didn’t i put in more effort.. that might be too much for me to handle. 

God, i need a miracle.. please give me back what i used to have.

i feel good, flattered

life is full of surprises

a friend caught me by surprise today.. it feels good to know that people do remember you just when you thought they don’t.. in a way, i think it’s important once in a while that we are assured that people do care about our well being..

me? i’m just so blessed..

i have:

-my girls who just spices up my life, i just can’t imagine how life would be without them.. they are the perfect people who help releases stress.. more like the rainbow in my life

-a brother who frequently check on me, asking me how’s life

-a friend who always cheers me up during the down moments, who isn’t cheapskate with money and calls every time i need someone to talk to

-a family who gives nothing but unconditional love and support

-friends who play parts and parcels of my life

-a cousin who also happens to be my chauffeur

-friends who surprises me every now and then

-a German shepherd that i love A LOT despite how naughty that dog is

i had the ups and downs.. but yeah, i’m pretty contented with my life

*random pictures*

JESUS LOVES YOU!

yea, i know.. i’ve been using a lot of emoticons lately.. i just love them!  *grins*

looking back, a sense of achievement

skipped school today, went to see and give support to my juniors (PBSM) - district marching competition (NGO) instead ..

this is the first time i went for a PBSM activity without me being involve in it.. even though i wasn’t participating today, boy, i felt nervous for them.. really! fact is, after handing down the authority to the next younger generation board, felt a bit empty out of a sudden.. i use to worry this, worry that. now, it’s just watching them work and guiding them along the way.. the point is, it just feels different when you’re no more involve, just hoping that the juniors will continue to carry on what’s done, maybe add new things to it, and excel. of course i don’t mean perfection but yea, you just want them to do good, better than what your generation did..

compared to last year i must say the standard has dropped a bit.. watching them in their trainings just makes me wonder whether they’ll be able to make it? will the quality continue to drop? stuff like that.. but through it all, they have proven me wrong.. when the time came, they marched their asses off , certainly was a surprise to me..

i’m proud of them, seriously am.. they remind me of my time, when we worked and trained so hard.. people thought that we’re crazy (they still do), spending so much time on some silly marching.. i guess they don’t see it they way we see it. to us, it’s honour and glory. to them, it’s a waste of time.. who cares what they think? important thing is i appreciate and value those times, priceless.. even though it was hard, it paid off.. no regrets!

i didn’t take a lot of pictures but. oh well,

the face says it all. *satisfied with their achievements*

=.=” what more can i say?

we weren’t the champions, but hey, first runners up ain’t bad yea know..

once in a blue moon thing

went to ipoh yesterday.. met my cous and her family at the toilet (is the world that small??)

it was all about food:

breakfast – dim sum at “fu san” (ipoh certainly has one of the best dim sums!)

lunch – japanese food at “kizuna” (scrumptious!)

dinner – ipoh’s best “lou xu fun” (can’t remember where)

heaven i tell you

forgot to take pictures though, by the time i remembered, what’s left is just empty, smudged plates

okay, maybe not all about food. lol. a bit of shopping too  

bought:

-a top that i really like

-a black tube

-two pairs of earings (i had the nods from my cous first k)

-some magazines from novel hut (cheapest were 70 cents and the most expensive ones were RM 2. CHEAP)

-a handbag (it’s my mum’s but she says i can share with her )

-a blouse for my mom (mother’s day’s coming people )

-a thermos flask for dad (father’s day is not too far off either )

-birthday presents for a friend and my brother (have to do early planning, what to do, no more shopping after this )..

yea, i think that’s a wrap!

 

*i need some serious chemistry with my books* 

cheers to the big note

i know it’s been quite some time since i post David Archuleta’s performances on American Idol.. the reason is because i thought his previous performances were good as usual but not outstanding enough.. however this week, i absolutely love his rendition on mariah carey’s “when you believe”..  love that song, reminds me of a moses cartoon i watched when i was young..  

when he hit that first big note.. totally stunned me!  (guess i wasn’t expecting that note, maybe i was. lol. just not that early)

here’s it, David Archuleta’s top 7 performance, enjoy people!

 

just for your info, all the contestants were required to pick a mariah carey’s song.. i must say that his one is the one to beat! i hope you loved it as much as i did, maybe more.

finger exercising

I’m currently using my mum’s TOSHIBA laptop! (company’s, not hers, sigh) the colours, everything, just great! (or maybe i haven’t explore enough. lol.) Although i have nothing particular to blog, i must as well just enjoy pressing the TOSHIBA keypads!

anyway, school was fun.. lots of laughter and scenes! the “arch”, the “hair”, FUNNY!! so wanna blog about it, the ”arch” thing especially, BUT no model. (volunteers?) besides, if ko ping finds out about it I”M SO DEAD! so, better not.. hehe..

planned to do a video today at school but i forgot to bring my cam! nevermind, there’s always tomorrow.  lets just hope i remember.

wanna pose with the laptop but no photographer.. sad case..

there, my fingers are pretty satisfied now.. should do this more often, good exercising for the fingers right mum?

ps : maybe i should persuade her to leave the laptop at home so i can use..  yea, i’ll try that.. might work..

here, there, everywhere

i have so much in my mind, so much to say BUT, pearly’s a bit lazy today  (not that i’m a very hardworking person in life also. lol.)

so i shall post lots of pictures instead!  

*behind the scenes of drama practice*

poser tiff

 

nat’s best friend

jou’s too?

even though it’s blur i still like the “ooomph” in it

basil.. one cheeky boy he is

striking a Mr. and Mrs Smith’s pose

i like this picture mainly because i took it because it’s clear in front yet blurrie at the back

okay, here’s the thing, if you’re wondering what ee’s about.. here’s a tiny winy part of it

wah, so many keys! which one to choose??

there’s only one way, only one key to heaven

i found the right key! key of – FAITH

if you didin’t get it just forget it, it’s kinda lame, i know  

 

felt a bit bad, cause we kept taking pictures when we’re supposed to practice, but, oh well, all’s wells ends well

*plain school*

angelic babies that you just love

retarded + brat-tish babies that you just wana squish their heads off

i like this, reminds me of a sunday school song.. *You’re the lord of the sunshine, the Lord of the rain…..*

*drama*

ko ping and myself

nat potraying her innocent self (not exactly in real life)  ain’t she a cutie pie?

i think jou looks really pretty in this one, like the blink blink  (no more fat face and pimples alright jou?)

*experimenting*

was trying out some tests with photoshop today, here’s the outcome.

 

mamma mia, i’m done!

leaving it in His hands

it has been quite a day. i don’t even know where to start..

 

i had a really busy day, PBSM, drama, prayer walk.. i was dead tired.. and to make things more hectic, i was leading for the youth rally on the very night itself.. after the prayer walk which ended about 5.30 we had our practice.. but by the time we got everything ready, a little dilly dally here and there, we only started around 6.00.. by then i was starting to worry.. all i can say is that the whole practice was pretty much screwed and everything was in a mess.. hard to believe but yea, trust me, it was.. it was 6.50 and youth rally starts at 8.00.. i just felt a tremendous pressure on me.. i couldn’t handle the stress and eventually, i broke down.. i ended the practice and told my team to go back, eat, bath, and meet back at church at 8.00.. anyone would have thought i was insane, who wouldn’t? everything was not in order, instead of meeting back earlier to practice more i told them to come right on the time.. what was i thinking?

went back to shower, cleared my head a bit.. and for a very long time, i cried out to God, surrending everything to Him, asking Him to take charge..

 

God showed His mercy.. worship went well.. everything just fell into place.. no doubt God’s grace..

 

i guess in a way the break down had its purpose.. reminds me that sometimes, when things doesn’t go well, and seems that there’s no way out, i can always turn to God and He will pour His favour on me..

 

after it ended, pastor daniele said something that encouraged me a lot.. i’m just glad that i learnt something today.. even though it was not the way i wanted to learn it..

God will make a way

when there seems to be no way

He works in ways we cannot see

He will make a way for me

He will be my guide

hold me closely to His sight

with love and care

for each new day

He will make a way

He will make a way